Over the past 18 months I've had more experiences than I thought possible.
Toward the end of 2019 I returned home from a fulltime mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I started a network marketing business, and took on an apprenticeship for an interior design business. With all this going on I would've owned two of my own businesses by summer of 2021. Imagine that.
I was motivated, I was growing and learning. I dove into self-help, I was full of dreams and excitement. But one day I got hit hard. I got depressed and discouraged, and I just plain felt unhappy. At this time I was engaged to a girl, that is now my amazing wife. I called her and told her how I felt and she asked me if really wanted to stay where I was living and take over this business. And I realized I didn't.
So that night I changed all my plans. After my Fiancé and I got married I was going to move to where she lived and start over. And I mean start over, completely. I had no idea just how fresh this start was going to be for me.
Right after the wedding, I had the worst round of depression I have ever had. Imagine getting married and during the honeymoon getting extremely depressed. It wasn't ideal by any means. But I was blessed with the most incredible partner I could have asked for. She was patient and caring and supportive as I started pulling myself out.
So for the next few months I worked on getting back to a good mental state. It was hard! But it slowly got better. And my wife and I grew closer than ever because of it. It's because we chose to work with what came our way. I'm so thankful for her.
So there I was. Depleted, married, I had also ended my network marketing business because I didn't have the energy for it, and I was seeing some of the negative effects it had been having on me personally, so I was also 100% jobless. A little different than a few months before.
But though all of this, even though it was tough, I knew I was making the right choice.
So now here I am, happily married, I have a good job, that actually presented itself because of the interior design apprenticeship I had. I'm getting to know myself again, and learning to love myself again. I'm slowly getting back on my feet. I'm better mentally, even though I still struggle, and I've learned a lot about myself and what certain mindsets can do. I learned what was and wasn't working for me. And while it's frustrating to have little energy to put toward my personal life, I know the time will come when it will be right for me to act on my dreams and plans. But for now I'm keeping it simple, and working on myself and the relationships that mean the most to me.
So my message to you all, is trust what works for you. Just because an opportunity presents itself, that doesn't mean it's meant to be permanent. It might just be a step in a new direction.
Don't let toxic pressure, or guilt drive you. If something is messing with your mental health, leave it! Don't allow toxic positivity to take control. A mistake I made was letting myself be driven by fear. I was afraid to struggle. I was afraid of not being "successful." So I worked hard, too hard, to make that happen as soon as possible.
Find what works for you. Trust your feelings, face your troubles and fight for the message you have to share. Fight for the life you're going to be most happy in. Fight to be alive.
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