Woke up today feeling a little less okay than before.
I wish I could lay on the floor.
And think till I make sense of it all.
But I'm afraid I might fall.
When I learn what makes me feel this way.
I'm a little more depressed today.
But that's okay, I'm still gonna pray.
I can't hear a voice, but I keep trying.
All I hear is my mind crying.
Calling me a fake, a liar.
I wanna set it on fire.
Just to light the dark.
Something might spark.
Past images remind me.
Remind me of the light around me.
Remind me of where I was.
And that gives me cause.
I stop and take a pause.
I look up and ask, is this plause-able to keep going.
I keep showing my scars.
My fears and doubts.
Hoping to fight off the bouts.
I know it gets better.
But the moment hits harder.
Than I prepare for.
But the lack of emotions
Sets my mind in motion.
It's moving in slow motion.
The gears turn.
My bones burn.
No weight
Yet the world above me
Pressure from nowhere
Dragging me down here
Down crashes the wave of fear.
Don't start with me, I know I just need to switch a gear, but it gets harder down here.
It's easy to prepare when I'm flying
But a lot harder when I'm trying to lift off.
Try to shake the skin off my bones
It's no use, it's inside me, and always will be.
Giving up is not an option when even that takes effort.